CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
