My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
