Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
