I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
