So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
