God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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