I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
