the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
