why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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