we have pet lesbian snakes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize