I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
