We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love you. Go after that dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
