I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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