Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You are the jesus of drinking
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