go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
