Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
