If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
