you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
