first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
