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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well my cheeks are red now

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone

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• (818): View more from California

  Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.

  (818): View more from California

  We won.

  (818): View more from California

  USA USA USA

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air

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• (806): View more from Texas

  You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Surrounded by smaller versions of the same

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation

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