jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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