I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
