that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
