Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
