I wish i was in the wii world.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize