i just had sex bonerless
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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