i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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