So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize