you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
