Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I love you. Go after that dick
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize