I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize