oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
