dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
