I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
