I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
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This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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