Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
