Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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