I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
