belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
