They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
