I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
