He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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