Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
