Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
