I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
