Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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