But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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