bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
