who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
