Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
