It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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