fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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