Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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