You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
