Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
