Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
