This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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