The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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