Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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