i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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