i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
