Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
