dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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