his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
